HAHA! AND YOU THOUGHT YOU KNEW!
by elfboylover
Summary: THERE ARE SOME THINGS THAT WE DON'T WANT TO KNOW.. BUT HELL!!! Assembled together, living together, can the characters handle BEING together? WARNING!! VERY TWISTED PERSONALITIES AND SITUATIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
1. Default Chapter

~~ HELLLL-O!!!!!! My name's elfboylover, and that intentionally means that LINK IS HOT!!!!!!! ^.~ But be warned!! This fic is rated in the event of cursing, suggestive dialogue, and some.. other things.. hehe R&R!!!!!!  
  
  
  
Fox muttered a curse under his breath. "Falco!" he yelled into the communicator, "Damn it, get back here! It's too risky!" "Give that shit a break, Fox," Falco's voice transmitted, "I go in and I get out, it's too fucking simple!" He ended their connection. "Falco? Falco! That bastard!" Fox closed his communicator in frustration.  
  
He looked out the window of the StarFox, and spotted Falco sprinting towards a white building. Falco stopped and looked around him cautiously before he entered inside. "Come on.." Fox whispered. Minutes ticked by. Beads of sweat trailed down the side of his face and was soaked up by his fur. Time went on slowly.. it was past thirty minutes since Falco entered the building.  
  
"Crap!" Fox punched the screen door button, and exited through the roof of the ship. He flipped his laser gun set to stun, and made his way to the building. Fox leaned against the white wall of the building, breathing heavily and slowly. Closing his eyes, he summoned a deep breath, and charged in.  
  
Falco was inside, paying the clerk twenty dollars, and received his change. He turned around and saw Fox cocking his gun to the poor man over the counter, who ducked down in fright. "Aw come on, Fox," an irate Falco said, "I told you I'd get the pizza." Fox frowned as placed his gun back.  
  
"I..I was so afraid you forgot 'bout the anchovies," Fox stammered. Falco flipped open the carton to reveal the toppings. "All right!" Fox reached in and grabbed three slices. "Yo man, share!" Falco said as he pulled away. They made their way back to the StarFox and ate. "I love Papa Johns!" Falco exclaimed. "Hey, hey! Watch it with all that cheese!" Fox said as he dangled a long string of parmesan from the controls.  
  
Falco bit into a slice, when he cried out in pain. "What the fuck is this?!"  
  
He pulled out a metal disc embedded in the middle of the anchovies. The electronic lights beeped, and suddenly flashed brightly. "Jeez!" Falco yelled out and dropped it on the ground. It vibrated and began humming. There was a sudden pop, and a small sheet of paper floated into the air. Fox grabbed it before Falco and the two of the wrestled to see who would read it.  
  
"You're invited to - hey!"  
  
Falco pushed Fox's face away as he held the paper in his other talon.  
  
"To the premiere of the annual - CRAP!"  
  
Fox shot the paper out of his talons with his gun and jumped in midair to catch it. Falco scrambled from below and pinned his legs down to the ground. They grunted and yelled as the slip of paper fell silently to the ground. "Get out!" "YOU get out!!" Both of them crawled on their elbows and each pulled at an end of the paper, struggling against each other.  
  
"Annual Smash Brothers assembly at HAL laboratories, Nintendoland," they both read aloud. "What's that supposed to mean?" Falco asked. "It means," Fox stood up with a grin, "We're taking a short trip."  
  
~Elsewhere, others were receiving the same message~  
  
Twenty-four characters were gathered in a large auditorium. Kirby from a distant star was bouncing up and down in his seat, while Link of Hyrule was trying in vain to calm his younger look-alike cousin. "Oh please! The fashions in Mushroom Kingdom is clearly the best!" Peach and Samus of Metroid were engaged in a heated argument. Pokemon Pichu walked up cutely to Bowser, holding a Fire Flower he found lying around.  
  
"For you," he squeaked, and kicked his tiny feet bashfully. Bowser raised an orange eyebrow, and batted Pichu into the air with his tail. The yellow tuft bounced around the room, zipping past the refreshments table where Pikachu was helping himself to a bottle of ketchup, hurtling between Princess of Hyrule Zelda and Nana and Pop, over the heads of Jigglypuff.. followed by Mewtwo.. Fox and Falco stealing the cream puffs.. Yoshi.. and was saved by Donkey Kong.  
  
"Pichu!" the Pokemon cried out in happiness and wrapped its arms around the hairy chest, "Thank you!" Donkey Kong grinned idiotically. "Me found tennis ball!" Pichu looked up. "Huh?"  
  
The next moment, he was wacked in the rear by a tennis racket and sent spinning off again. "IIIIIIII juuuuuuuust waaaaaaaant toooooooooo beeeeeeeeee looooooved!!!!!!" he cried.  
  
In the commotion, the room grew suddenly dim. Everyone turned their attention to the stage, where a light shined upon two giant gloved hands. "Thanks for coming, people," said the hand on the left, "We are" "pleased that you have all attended," the right hand spoke. "This year's Smash Brothers assembly," the left one finished off.  
  
"Now to"  
  
"the chase"  
  
"you've all been selected"  
  
"to help in creating"  
  
"the best"  
  
"four-player action"  
  
"Nintendo game"  
  
"ever."  
  
"Things will"  
  
"get started in the morning"  
  
"after you've slept"  
  
"well, no duh."  
  
"Ladies to the east rooms"  
  
"and guys to the west."  
  
"No"  
  
"sharing"  
  
"ha"  
  
"ha"  
  
"ha."  
  
With that, they left the stage, and the room was lit normally again. "Uh..," Ganondorf said and looked around him, "Did that freak you out?"  
  
  
  
  
  
~~Very brief intro! Most of my chappies are around seven pages long, but this is good enough to start off with. Readers: It's STUPID!! Elfboylover: ARRGHH!! DON'T GET BORED YET!! PLEASE, I PROMISE SOME REALLY NICE JUICY STUFF IN THE NEXT CHAPTER IF.. I get enough reviews. *evil grin. *gets hit by a Bob-omb. *ow.. 


	2. I think THIS was a LOT better!

~ Ha, I wrote a lot more here than before. Anywayz.. damn, I can't think of anything to say. Well, if you wanna, just a suggestion: READ RL!!!!! It's so hard to find readers, sniff. Well, I'll just loiter around and spend the time by talking gibberish to prevent you from reading..  
  
*few moments later  
  
owie..  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
When the doors where opened, the girls squealed and ran inside. "We've got a waterbed!!" Peach laughed out while she jumped up and down. "Peach, get down," Zelda demanded, "You'll break it." Samus raised an eyebrow and grinned. She whistled lightly as she passed by Peach, and a moment later -  
  
WHOOSH!!  
  
"Ugh..my HAIR!" Zelda said through mess of wet blonde knots. Samus smiled deviously as she patted her arm cannon while watching Peach stand up. "You.." the princess said with an evil hatred. "Peachy," Samus replied, "Been putting up a lot of carbs lately?" Peach glared silently, and the two of them were throwing daggers at each other.  
  
"Help me.." Nana's voice called out. "Nana? Jigglypuff?" Zelda cried out. "Help.." All three looked up and gasped. "Yea," Nana and Jigglypuff moaned as they hung pitifully on a fan, "get us down."  
  
***  
  
The guys dropped their duffel bags when they reached their rooms. "Sweet," Link muttered in awe. Fox and Falco peeked in, and gave each other a wink. "Look at all this stuff!" Ness pointed out. "Nice silverware," Popo commented. "Not like you'll be using it!" Young Link shouted. "Whee! I get the top bunk!!" "No you don't!" Link ran over to pull him down.  
  
"Hey!" Young Link struggled against his cousin's grip. Link shouted, "Get down! You'll break your neck you little bastard!" Young Link grabbed his hand and bit it in the flesh. "ARRRGH!!!!!"  
  
Young Link grinned as Link fell on the bed, grasping his bleeding hand. "Haha!! Uh oh," he said as Link scrambled up and chased after him. They ran past the bathroom, where Luigi was taking photographs.  
  
"Mama mia!" the green plumber cried out, "you are-a beautiful! Yes-a you are! Give-a me some, aw.. that's-a my baby. Oh yes-a! Hot! Gorgeous!!!" "Uh, Luigi?" Mario came in and tapped him on the shoulder, "What're you doing?" Luigi paused from his camera and looked up. "Mario!" he shouted happily and pushed his brother in front of him, "There, look-a! Isn't-a she a beaut?"  
  
Mario stared silently at his brother oddly. "Bro, it's a toilet," he said slowly. Luigi gasped and ran over to the toilet and placed his gloved hands on the sides of it. "Don't let-a yourself hear 'im, sweetheart," he muttered to it and snapped at Mario angrily, "You fool-a!! You've-a broken her heart-a! Que tontisimo! Que es-a su problemo, eh?! She is-a the most lovely creature I've-a ever seen! Look-a at this, look-a at this!! Polished, sleek-a surface.. ahhhh.."  
  
A very disturbing look came over Luigi's face as he grinned idiotically and caressed the toilet. His brother sighed and shook his head to leave the bathroom. The guys were all raiding the kitchen, where Falco and Fox were pocketing several pieces of china and porcelain. "Heyy.. MARGAITAS!!" Pikachu slammed the door to the fridge carrying three bottles of beer. "Yo, I need a Bud," Captain Falcon swiped one of the bottles. Ganondorf stood alongside him sniffing.  
  
"Don't you know that alcohol is bad for you?" he said, "You can get liver disease and die! Don't throw your life away!" Captain Falcon gave the grinning Gerudo a weird look. "Man, get outta my sight," he moaned and went away. Ness looked up from his plate of ice cream and quietly slipped away. He followed Captain Falcon out the kitchen, leaving a sad Ganondorf nearly in tears.  
  
Pichu walked up to him and placed a tiny paw on his back. "Aw, don't worry Ganondorf," he said, "I'm sure Captain Falcon didn't mean it." Ganondorf bawled loudly. Pichu patted his hand. "There there," he assured him, "It's alright." Ganon, completely obsolete to Pichu's presence, slammed his hand down on the table and went down sobbing. "Piiiichuuuu!!!!!" Pichu flew into the living room, where Roy was showing some of the guys his collection of um.. not decent pictures of girls.  
  
"Duude!" Bowser exclaimed over them, "Man, these are HOT!" "Hey!" Popo and Young Link came up from behind the crowd and tried to climb their way in, "Whatcha' looking at?" "Go away, no kids allowed!" Fox shoved them over. "I've seen those before!" Young Link cried out, "They're all over Link's room!!" Link turned red and raised a gloved fist. Young Link and Popo ran out to the other room laughing and screaming.  
  
Roy placed the first picture on the bottom of the pile, revealing the next one. "AW.." the guys moaned. "What do you think, huh?" Roy said with a mischievous smile. Mr. Game and Watch held up a sign with a number "1". "Heh, that ain't nothin," Kirby sat up and smiled, "They're not half as big as the ones I've seen."  
  
A skeptical look frowned on Roy's face. "Oh yea?" he challenged, "Show us your best." Kirby grinned and sped off to his suitcase. The guys waited for about a minute when he returned with a folder. "Fellow gentlemen," Kirby said leisurely, "I give you.. The Twin Mount Everests."  
  
He flipped open the folder, and the guys gawked. They were speechless for a moment when Roy turned red and suddenly ran into the bathroom. There was a loud outburst in Luigi's voice from behind the door a moment later.  
  
"WHAT-A THE FUCK-A ARE YOU DOING?!! THAT'S-A SICK!! THAT'S SO ASS-FUCKING A- SICK!!!!!!!!"  
  
***  
  
After they had spent half an hour getting Jigglypuff and Nana down, two whole hours blow drying their hair, and one more hour for Peach and Samus to decide who gets which room, the girls sat cross-legged on floor in their PJs. "Come on," Nana started, "let's have a girl talk." "Alright," said Peach grinning wildly, "Which of the guys do you think is the hottest?" Samus flipped her blond hair and smiled. "That blond, what was his name again?" "Link?" Zelda said with a raised eyebrow, "Are you serious?!" Samus licked her finger and touched the rug with a hiss.  
  
Zelda turned up her lip. "He's okay.." she started, "but really.. LINK? I mean, for Godsakes he's a virgin who lives in a TREE." Peach looked at Zelda suspiciously. "How would YOU know he's a virgin?" Jigglypuff stopped playing with her curl and leaned forward enthusiastically. "Well um.." Zelda stumbled and looked from side to side. The girls squealed before she could say anymore.  
  
"Oh.. my.. GOD!" Samus screeched, "You can't be serious!" "No!" Zelda retorted, "He just got high and started saying all this..stuff." Jigglypuff scooted closer to the Hylian princess. "Like what?" she asked interestedly. "Did he mention," Peach said, "how.. TALL he is?" She coughed suggestively.  
  
"Mmm," Samus licked her lips, "I bet he's got the best sword ever." "Actually," Nana added, "Marth and Roy's aren't too bad either." Everyone stopped and stared at her blankly. Nana looked around her in confusion. "What?" she asked, "Their swords are pretty great, too."  
  
"Nana.." Jigglypuff started, "Don't tell me that you've been..uh, well how should I put this?" "Would you like to explain in FULL detail," Zelda said slowly, "just how you came by that information?" Nana raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean?" she said, "Didn't we all see their swords?"  
  
"Huh," Peach replied, "Unless I entirely missed something back there in the auditorium, I don't think so." Nana shook her head. "No, really! We saw them!" she said, "Roy's and Marth's were all gold at one end and even, and Link's had blue on one end and a long thing coming out of it!"  
  
That led everyone off the line.  
  
"Nana!" Zelda reprimanded while Peach and Samus were giggling furiously. Nana was completely shocked and confused that she scratched her head. "Holy crap," Jigglypuff sighed with relief, "and I actually thought you were downright serious." "But I was!" Nana retorted defiantly.  
  
Samus cleared her throat and placed an arm around her. "Nana," she said comfortingly, "we weren't referring to.. those kind of swords, honey." She ended with a splitting grin. Nana looked at her strangely.  
  
"What other kinds are there?" she asked curiously. "WELL.." Peach started and was met with Zelda's glare. "Don't," she threatened, "She doesn't need to know about that kind of thing now." "What?" Nana persisted, "I wanna know!" "Forget it," Samus replied and edged back to her seat, "I guess having no male role in the family really stunts our incredible feminine knowledge."  
  
"That's not true," Nana protested, "Popo's older than me and my brother." Jigglypuff rolled over. "Yeah well," she started, "Popo's still not exactly our typical male figure, ya know?"  
  
"What's wrong with Popo?"  
  
"Wait a minute," Peach stopped, "You mean that short kid in the blue coat? Is that your brother?" Nana nodded and Peach shuddered. "Oh my god," she stated, "no wonder you're so deprived." Zelda shot her a warning death stare and Peach quietly shut her mouth. "Really, what's wrong with Popo?" Nana asked. Popo's always known more stuff than her, and he was older despite their heights. She couldn't see any real problem with him.  
  
"Girl-friend," Samus sighed, "I just don't think Popo's old enough to have known anything really important. Seriously, if you want a good image I suggest you try and get yourself away from that little kid." Nana wrinkled her nose. 'Little kid?' she thought.  
  
Zelda waved the topic away. "Forget it," she said, "let's not go there. Besides, there are some real pervs in those guys." "Ugh," Jigglypuff shuddered, "You mean that what's-his-face red head? He's got issues.. we were standing there and he kept staring at me and started saying that I was really.. 'round'." The girls all except Nana broke in a series of squeals.  
  
Nana was silent and reviewed the facts. Popo WAS really dumb. Like the times he'd stare up towards the sky for a long time until a block of ice would hit him on the head and send him unconscious for two or three hours. Now that she sat and think about it, Popo was pretty shallow. Even compared to Young Link, he was kind of stupid. When the girls all tucked themselves into their beds, Nana pulled the yellow covers over herself and made a solemn oath.  
  
From that day forward, she will NOT be around Popo any longer..  
  
**  
  
"Hey.." Sheik said, "Is there something wrong with that dude over there?" A few other guys crept over and looked at where Sheik was pointing at.  
  
A little green thing was huddled in the corner. It was muttering something and stroking a round object in its arms. "Mine.." it was murmuring in a gnarly voice, "My own.. my precious!!" "Yo, man," Roy started and reached out his hand to touch its shoulder, "You alright?" The green thing turned and hissed.  
  
"Whoa!" Roy said and doubled back against Mewtwo. The green thing bared its teeth and started hissing towards them menacingly. "Get back!" Sheik warned them. Roy stumbled and both he and Mewtwo fell back on the ground. "UGH!" Roy screamed and got up quickly, "Oh fuck, I've been touched by a purple pussy!" Mewtwo's eyes glared blue. "Who you calling a pussy?!" he roared and started his psybeam attack.  
  
"What's goin on?" Link yawned and walked towards the living room. "Hey, come look at this!" Sheik motioned him and pointed at the green little thing in the corner. Soon Falco and Fox got up to join them, followed by just about everyone else. "What is it?" Marth asked curiously. Inside the kitchen, Roy and Mewtwo were brawling. "You want some of this?!" Roy's voice called out, and there was a loud curse from Mewtwo.  
  
Ness crept under Mario's legs trying to get a better look. "Hey!" he stated, "It's got something!" Upon his words the green thing leaped six feet in the air above their heads, hissing and glaring. It landed behind them, and started crawling up along the walls like a spider. "Lemme see, lemme see!" Young Link shouted and pushed his way through the crowd. "Yo, go back to sleep!" Link told him.  
  
"It's holding an egg!" Kirby announced, and the green creature snarled and jumped on him. "URHAAAARRRGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! GET IT OFF ME, GET IT OFF ME!!!!!" Falco and Mario both ran over and tried to pry it away from Kirby. The green creature wailed and swung them both backwards. "MAKE IT STOP, MAKE IT STOOOOPP!!!" Kirby screamed in terror.  
  
Everyone pounced on the green thing and tried to pull it away. Finally, they held it by its hands, feet, and tail snarling and wriggling from Kirby's reach. "Hey, it's Yoshi!" Popo declared. Yoshi let out a horrifying screech and struggled to reach its egg that was left lying on the ground. "Keep.. him.. STILL!" Captain Falcon strained as he held on to the green dinosaur's left arm.  
  
From behind them, Roy and Mewtwo could still be heard fighting. "Say 'Uncle!'" Mewtwo demanded as he pinned Roy back by both legs. "Un- unn.. Fuck you, PUSSY!!" There was a tumble and a Xena battle-cry from Roy's lungs as he jumped Mewtwo with his sword.  
  
Just then, DK walked out from the lavatory (amidst Italian cursings from Luigi) and stopped dead when he saw the egg. "BIG tennis ball!" he cried out and grabbed his racket from behind. Yoshi's eyes widened in fright as DK advanced towards its egg.  
  
"YEAAAAAARRRGGGHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
All the guys holding it down were blown halfway across the room as Yoshi leaped forward. "Urgh?" DK said and looked up. Immediately the green dinosaur less than half the ape's body mass attacked him. They rolled over the ground, breaking the table and rolling up the carpet. There were growls from DK as Yoshi clawed and bit into the thick fur.  
  
The guys all stood up, and Pikachu turned to Mewtwo and Roy keeping each other in a death-lock. "Hey, stop that!" he demanded. Roy and Mewtwo ignored him, which irritated the Pokemon. They continued fighting, and Pikachu started to join in. "I told you two assholes to STOP IT!" he yelled as he shocked the two of them. Roy punched Pikachu in the face, and Mewtwo kicked Roy in the shins. They fought with tooth and fists, while in the opposite ring was DK and Yoshi tearing up the living room.  
  
Sheik stood up after a long moment of dizziness. "Man," he mumbled, "Somebody call the Animal Control Center or something!" Marth ran to the telephone and flipped through the Yellow Pages. Bowser cursed and saw a figure in the corner. He approached it and noticed Ganondorf huddled in a ball, his back facing the commotion.  
  
"Dude," Bowser said to him, "what's wrong with you?" Ganondorf's eyes darted from side to side as he whined meekly. "Too much.. fighting," he whimpered and covered his ears, "Me want.. nice and happy places.. sunshine and daisies.. rainbows are nice, too.. little bunny foo-foo carrying his tiny basket of goodies is coming to take me home!" He hunched over and began sucking his thumb.  
  
Meanwhile Marth dialed up a number on the phone. He waited for it to ring, looking anxiously at the fighting as he tapped the table impatiently. "Come on, come on!" he muttered and someone on the other end picked up. "Hello?"  
  
"Yea, is this the Animal Control Center?"  
  
Young Link bumped into him from behind. "I'm not going to bed!! You can't make me!!" he screamed as Link chased him. "Oh yes you are!" Link replied, "You're gonna be in bed either sleeping or in a coma when I'm through with you!" They scrambled around the living room, where Luigi was blocking the door to the bathroom.  
  
"Jeez, Luigi!" Popo said holding his crutches, "I gotta GO!" Luigi shook his head defiantly. "You aren't-a coming in here!" he replied hotly, "She's a-sleeping!" "Damnit, Luigi!" Popo cursed, "I'm gonna piss in my snowpants!" Mario stepped in and went up to his brother. "Luigi," he said calmly, "Come on, let Popo use the toilet!"  
  
A look of pure horror crossed Luigi's face as he ran into the bathroom and hugged the rims of the toilet. "You monsters!" he cried out, "She's-a gone through enough-a already!" Mario lost his patience and stepped inside the bathroom. "That's IT!" he said and pounced on his brother.  
  
Marth cursed as he strained to hear the other line and shouted over the fighting. "CAN EVERY ASSHOLE IN HERE PLEASE SHUT THE HELL UP?!!?!" he yelled and returned with one finger plugging his ear. Just then Falco and Fox scrambled into the room and locked the door. Marth gave them an inquiring look. "What are you two doing in here?" he asked them, "Get out, I'm making a phone call!"  
  
Falco turned and hushed him while Fox peered out the window from the top of the door. Marth muttered and went back to the phone. "No, no," he said in frustration, "no, I don't NEED a deluxe package of DDT, just get some squat team here and take care of the situation. No, I'm not Canadian. What? What does that have to do with anything?"  
  
There was a loud thumping against the door. "You bastards!" came Captain Falcon's voice, "Give me back my car keys!" Fox and Falco grinned at each other as they held the door with their backs. The pounding became louder, and Marth turned to the two of them. "Get OUT right now!" he demanded, and went back to the phone. There was a still silence from the door, and Fox tiptoed to look out the window.  
  
"Holy crap," he cursed. With a burst of flames, Captain Falcon broke in the door with a Falcon punch and left a mess of smoke and debris. He stood in a menacing glare as he scanned the room for the two thieves. Marth motioned him and pointed to the couch. Captain Falcon walked over and threw over the couch, revealing Fox and Falco hiding underneath. He picked them up by the scruff of their necks with an evil grin.  
  
Marth waved smiling benevolently at Falco and Fox as they left shooting glares towards him, and went back to the phone. "Okay?" he asked, "We're at HAL Laboratories Nintendo Land. Got that? Great, thanks, bye." He left the room and stood in awe at the sight of the dorm. A pipe was broken and leaking out water, flooding the floor. There were tears on every piece of furniture, and the walls were charred by fire from Roy and Captain Falcon. The lights kept flickering on and off, and sparks flew out at every direction.  
  
The doorbell rang, and Sheik ran over the pool of water to open it. "Thank gods you're here," he said and stopped when he opened the door. Crazy Hand and Master Hand (standing respectively) appeared at the door with nets and electric shockers. They were both in pink gloves that had "I love kittens" written all over it. "Hi," Crazy Hand began and the two of them stepped inside.  
  
They walked straight towards Yoshi holding down DK in attempts to drowning him in the pipe water and netted him. Then they shocked DK and carried the motionless ape out of the water. Keeping Yoshi under restrains, they headed out the door. "Bye," Master Hand said as they left. Sheik and Marth stared at each other, then at the chaos that was still commencing. They fell in a wet sofa with a groan out of exhaustion.  
  
  
  
~ I hope that was better as I promised. Ya like? *cause if you don't, tell me and I'll go see my counselor for emotional support. ^.^  
  
Reviews!! *yes, I do this ALL the time, hehe  
  
Rai Dorian - hehe, yes DK has a primal instinct to wack things ^_^ thanks for reading!  
  
Link's Princess - lol, I KNOW!!!! I can't help it how he's just so.. *drools, lol  
  
Spidoy - hehe, I hope ya liked it!  
  
Chibialandra - yea, they're getting in trouble a lot more often. Hehe.. dynamic duo, hmm..  
  
Ice-Dragoness - hehe, you're the second person who's said that! I should get them more parts..  
  
Sephi Kitsune - yea.. peace loving little rodent ~_~ 


	3. NOT NEW CHAPTER

~ Sorry it's not a real update. I'm writing a quick note (while risking my mother's wrath) to tell you that I can't work on any fanfics (as you've noticed) until finals and school is over (which is soon, after next week). So sorry about the HUGE delay, I promise to write as soon as I can (damn these parentheses). ~ 


	4. this chappy sucked, but it's here

~ Hey, long time no see! Finally updated this story along with all my other fics, and ugh, I can't say I liked this chapter personally. Stuck on a big writer's block still, but I hope it's okay with what I got so far. Just went ahead to explaining a few things and clearing up the events that happened last chappy, that sort of thing (was gonna get into further detail about why they're all there, but I already went up to 8 pages and decided to cut it down, hehe)   
  
if you like it, please tell me! And if you don't.. well, that'll be our little secret ^_~ (readers glaring at elfboylover menacingly) um.. (gulp) well read and tell me how it is!   
  
Zelda woke up to the first rays of dawn, and sat up in her bed. She yawned and stretched her arms and looked outside blissfully. The sunlight touched the branches of trees over a magnificent small pond. Birds chirped near her window, flitting and darting across the sky. Zelda held her legs and sighed. It was going to be such a beautiful and peaceful –   
  
CRASH!!  
  
"PEACH! WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY BED?!" Samus roared through the entire dorm, "YOU FILED DOWN THE SUPPORTERS TO MY CANOPY!" "Why'd you think I did it?! Maybe you just knocked it over with your big fat self!" Peach said and cackled insanely. "You bitch!" Samus screamed and suddenly a shot rang in the air from her arm cannon. "I can't believe.." Peach's slighting voice said, "you shot.. MY GOWN!"   
  
"Jiggly! Please, could you two stop it?!" "You stay out of this!" "I'll make you pay for my dress!" "Jiggly, I've had enough!" The chaos commenced and the three screamed as tearing and shouting filled the entire dorm.   
  
Zelda held her face and shook her head in frustration. She growled and yanked open the door to the living room, where Jigglypuff, Peach, and Samus started throwing anything they could find at each other. "STOP!" Zelda screamed.   
  
The three froze, Samus in the middle of charging her arm canon, Peach holding a vase over her head, and Jigglypuff prepared to initiate a Rollout attack and spun across the floor in random zigzags. "Let's stop this nonsense," Zelda said calmly, "now where's Nana?" "Hello, dears," Nana said and stepped out of her dorm. They all gaped and blinked simultaneously.   
  
"Nana?" Peach asked and dropped the vase, "Sweetie, what happened to you?" Nana stood in a little miniskirt and a green tank top. She lightly touched her brown hair which was now feathered gave her bangs that parted on one side. "I just thought I'd be a little more sophisticated," she answered in a rich tone, "So, are we going downstairs for breakfast?" "Uh guys," Samus said worriedly, "I can't shut this thing off!"   
  
Her fully charged arm cannon went off with a tremendous blast. Everyone ducked and was blown away by the force from the proximity. The girls laid on the ground for a silent moment as debris fell from the ceiling. Then they slowly crawled up and peered at the gaping hole that passed several rooms down the building. "Hey," someone's voice in the distance said, "what's going on?"   
  
The girls squinted as a figure became clear from the cloud. "Who's that?" Jigglypuff asked. The smoke barely cleared, but the girls could make out someone out there standing amidst the fog. "Jeez," Marth said as he stepped in and examined the hole, "What happened here?" They stared at him, and Marth looked down slowly. The towel that was covering his essentials laid on the ground.  
  
  
  
"ARRRRRGGHH!!!" he screamed. "Yeargh, my eyes!" Jigglypuff screeched and turned around. Zelda covered Nana's and Peach's eyes, but Samus looked on and made a sly grin. "Ooh lala," she said huskily as Marth darted back to his dorm, "that boy's got a tight little package." "Samus!" Zelda reprimanded and stood up, brushing dust off her PJs." "Great, now we have a shortcut to the boy's dorm!" Peach said excitedly.   
  
"No we don't," Zelda answered and went back to her room, "Right after we all get changed, we're going to talk to Master and Crazy Hand about this. They'll have to get it fixed somehow." Peach pouted after her. "Party pooper," she muttered. Zelda glared at her before she shut the door to her room. A few chunks of the ceiling fell down and Nana sighed. "My, that's a shame," she said, "Come along now, we don't have all day."   
  
"Nana," Jigglypuff said inquiringly, "really, what's gotten into you?" "What?" Nana said, acting surprised, "What do you mean, Jiggly darling?" Peach leaned over next to the two of them and rested her hands on her knees. "It's just that, well," she said, "this new look and the way you talk, what are you up to?" "Nothing, Peach," Nana answered, "in fact, I wasn't quite myself yesterday actually. You must forgive my crude behavior. Now shall we all get dressed and head on out?"   
  
She gave a short nod and walked out the door. When she closed it, a larger part of the ceiling broke down into fragments. Samus, who was assembling her hand cannon to her suit, watched as the door slowly crack and fall over the other side. "Tell me she ate something old and decayed last night," she said.   
  
***  
  
All the guys were now crowded next to the splintered hole in Marth's room. "Dude!" Roy said excitedly as he pushed his way to the front, "You can see the girl's dorms!" "We know that, you idiot," Kirby answered, "We're trying to see if any of them are out there." "Hey," Link said suspiciously, "isn't that like eavesdropping?" "Well.." Captain Falcon answered, "that's only if you're doing it illegally. We're just checking up on them, that's all."   
  
"Wow, is that Zelda's room?"   
  
Everyone looked down at their feet. Popo and Young Link were lying on their bellies and peered out from between Captain Falcon's legs. "Whoa there," the captain said, "uh, you guys shouldn't be down there." "Hey what're you doing?!" Link said and grabbed Young Link and dragged him off the floor. "Go," he said and dropped him outside Marth's room, "Go and brush your teeth or something."   
  
"You're not the boss of me!" Young Link yelled and blew a raspberry. Popo appeared and the two of them ran off laughing. "Hey," Sheik said to the two as they ran past him. He was wrapping his head with a long, tattered ribbon and walked towards Link, who was guarding Marth's door with an evil glare at his younger cousin. Sheik peeked under his arm and at the room. "What's everyone doing?" he asked.   
  
Link answered, "Marth's room got blown up and we can see down the girl's dorm. Care to join?" "Hey!" Roy screamed and jumped from excitement, "I see someone! I think it's.. oh my fucking god it's Zelda!" All the guys around him crowded and pushed through the hole. "Lemme see! What she doin'?" "Aw, man, I think she's changing!"   
  
They were all knocked over by something long that wrapped itself around their feet and flipped them towards the ground. "Owww.." Kirby moaned. Mr. Game and Watch laid next to him, waving a white flag. "Alright," Captain Falcon got up and flexed his muscles, "who's the asshole who did that?!" He looked at Link, who shrugged, and then at Sheik who was holding his palm out and jerked his arm as if drawing something back.   
  
"Sheik?" Roy asked, "You did this? Man how can you be so low, huh?!" Sheik glared at him through amber red eyes. "Look, I know you didn't like it, but I had to, alright?" he answered. "Why, something personal about peeping on girls?" Captain Falcon asked. Sheik made a light shrug. "Hey, as long as you're not caught I don't care," he answered, "I just can't let anything happen to Zelda, I'm supposed to be her guide."   
  
"Guide?" Link asked, "Since when? And hey, how come I'm not the guide?" Sheik patted him on the back. "Sorry buddy, direct orders from the big man," he replied, "I'm sure her dad woulda' let you take care of her, but he trusts me more." Link brushed off his hand angrily. "So, what diff does that make?" Sheik cleared his throat and added, "Um, let's just say that the king went into your house one day you weren't there and uh.. didn't like what he saw."   
  
Link's face was crestfallen. "Oh fuck," he muttered, "I knew I should've started taking those off the wall.." "Bummer for you man," Kirby said, "That happened to me once, my girl never talked to me again." "Yea well," Roy sighed and got off the floor, "Zelda just left the room anyways. But as long as we keep Marth's room a secret we should get another chance."  
  
"Hey," Captain Falcon asked, "Where is Marth anyway?" "I saw him," Link answered, "he looked kinda shook up. Don't know what could've happened to him. Oh well, let's – oh no.." Ganondorf stood at the door, his eyes wide in terror. "Have you been peeking at girls?" he said trembling. "Uh..," Kirby said, "no?" Ganon stared at the hole and traced it to the girl's dorm. He let out a dreaded gasp and pointed while covering his eyes with the other hand. "I just saw a girl's bedroom!" he screamed and ran out the room yelling, "I am so ashamed! Forgive me mama!!"   
  
"That man is so sad," Sheik said in a low voice. "What's his problem?" Roy asked, "He was surrounded by beautiful women all his life. Lucky bastard.." They left the room and headed out. Pikachu stood in the kitchen clutching an empty bottle of ketchup. "Who took all the margaritas?!" he screamed, voltage streaming out of his cheeks, "I stored three bottles of ketchup in the fridge, who used up all my ketchup?!" Falco and Fox glanced at each other and grinned. They walked past Captain Falcon's room; which was open and empty. "Yoink," Fox said and picked up Captain Falcon's keys from his table. "Got it?" Falco asked from the side of his beak. They dashed out of the dorm just before Mario arrived and knocked on the bathroom door wearily.   
  
"Come on Luigi, let's go downstairs," he said. "No!" Luigi's muffled voice said defiantly from the other side, "Not until you've-a apologized to her!" "Luigi, damnit!" Mario screamed and pounded on the door, "I am NOT apologizing to the toilet, now open up!" Luigi gasped and running feet could be heard. "He didn't-a mean it, my-a darling," he crooned, "You just-a rest now." "Come on Luigi," Mario said exasperatedly, "I hear they're serving pancakes and waffles downstairs."   
  
Luigi held his breath and Mario grinned to himself. "You know you want some," he continued, "Dripping, hot syrup smothered over a tall stack of freshly made flapjacks, maybe even with a slice of butter to top it all. Or maybe topped with a twirl of rich, thick whipped cream over a stack of warm, fluffy, light pancakes. But if you don't want any I'll just get myself seconds."   
  
"nooOO!!" Luigi sprang out and stampeded over Mario. "Pancakes!" he screamed and dashed out the stairs past Marth and Mewtwo. "Hey," Link said as he checked under the sofa, "anyone see that little bastard anywhere?" Browser walked out with a can of beer. "Yea, I saw him and that other little guy run downstairs," he said and took a swig out of the can. "Damnit," Link cursed and ran out while trying to put on his boots hopping on one foot. Bowser shrugged and sat down.   
  
Pichu walked up to him and sat down next to Bowser. "Pi," he chirped, "do you want to be friends?" "No I don't," Bowser answered roughly and kept drinking. "Pichu! But we'll have so much fun together!" Pichu said brightly.   
  
"No we won't."  
  
"How do you know?"  
  
"Cause you scare the shit out of me."  
  
"Pi! I'm not scary!"  
  
Bowser stopped drinking and gave him a harsh glare. "Look," he said slowly to the baby Pokemon, "why don't you go and annoy the hell out of someone else, okay?" He expected Pichu to burst into tears, but instead the Pokemon's cheeks began to spark. "Whoa, Pichu?" Bowser said cautiously and moved backwards, "Listen man, it's cool, right?" Pichu let out a strip of energy that went out the ceiling. Moments later, a huge thunder crashed above and shook the dorm slightly.   
  
"What's going on?" Captain Falcon asked, "And where the hell are my car keys?!" He stopped in short of Pichu walking away shooting a devious glare at him before he left the dorm. He gave Bowser an inquiring look, whose eyes were wide and clutched a crushed can of beer. "Er," Bowser said after a while, "I'm gonna go and uh.. get another beer.." He went towards the kitchen and was stopped by Pikachu before he reached the refridgerator.   
  
"PIKA! You took my ketchup and margaritas, didn't you, Bowser?!" the Pokemon shrieked. "I don't got any ketchup," Bowser replied irritatedly, "I'm just gettin' another can of beer, that's all." Pikachu slammed the door to the fridge. "Tell it to the judge, Pi! Pikapi, we're gonna settle this right here, right now, you and me buster!" Bowser gave a loud roar and threw his empty can at the wall. "What the hell is the problem with me and Pokemon?! All I wanted was a little drink!" He covered his face and made frustrated groans.  
  
***  
  
Eventually, everyone made it downstairs to the dining room where five long tables in a row were laden with food and drink. They were all seated in small groups of three on several circular tables. Luigi sat in front of a mountain of pancakes, stuffing them in three at a time while Mario and Sheik looked on amused. Ganondorf was babbling off while Mewtwo and Bowser tried to settle him down.   
  
"Come on, man," Mewtwo said exasperatedly, "Knock it off! It makes us bad guys look.. er, bad." "B-but," Ganon sputtered and wiped his snot with the back of his hand, "I'm n-not bad! I've always listened to Mama!" "Yea," Bowser said under his voice, "and that's a repeatin' problem I've been seein'." He leaned forward to Ganon and placed a paw on his shoulder. "Look, like it or not we are the bad guys," he said soothingly, "in games, we're the ones that the good guys, like Mario and Link and Pokemon, beat up to bloody shit until those Nintendo quacks are happy. So we gotta' stick together, you, me, and Mewtwo."  
  
Ganon stopped crying and looked up at him with glistening eyes. "You mean, we'll be best buddies?" he said with a shaking grin. Mewtwo and Bowser looked at each other blankly. "Uh.. yea," Mewtwo said, "buddies.. now the first thing we have to do is get this crap out of your system." "Yea," Bowser added, "toughen you up." Ganon sniffled and beamed. "You guys will do that for me?" he asked. "Sure," Bowser answered. "That's what 'buddies' are for," Mewtwo replied. The Gerudo wrapped them together in a great big hug. "Best friends, FOREVER!" he cried out jubilantly. "Aw, cut it out," Bowser said as they disentangled themselves and started conversing to Ganon in low voices.   
  
Ness, Young Link and Popo were starting a mini food fight among themselves. Nana looked at her brother reproachfully and turned away defiantly when he waved at her. "Popo," Ness said to the Eskimo still in his overstuffed snow attire, "was that your sister?" "Yea..," Popo replied with a hint of confusion, "I don't get it, she's usually kinda' nice."   
  
"Incoming!" Young Link yelled as he positioned a grape in his slingshot. The other two boys ducked, and the grape zoomed to the other side of the room. "So I'm just standing there waiting for the monster to show up," Link narrated to a twittering Peach and a un-amused Zelda, "and up comes this big thing that just hits me from-" A grape knocked the back of his head and sends the Hylian pummeling into his bowl of Grapenuts.   
  
"Uh oh," Young Link said and the three boys ducked under their table just as Link turned around. He stood up dripping with milk and made his way to their table. "Come out here, you little shit, I'm gonna kill you!!" he screamed. Roy glanced at Link's empty seat and ran for it. He sat down and beamed at Peach and Zelda. "Hello, ladies," the red-head said and winked. "Great, first I lose my car keys and now a chance to pass at the babes!" Captain Falcon said as Roy started chatting animatedly to the two girls, "I can't believe him, taking all the booty for himself." Mr. Game and Watch ringed in agreement just as Link came and sat in Roy's chair, still dripping wet and growling under his voice.   
  
"You know, Jigglypuff," Kirby said with a casual pass through his nonexistent hair, "You got real taste, doll. We'd make it good, eh babyface? What's say a 'ren-deh-vooh' with you an' me, blue eyes, and we'll paint the town round?" He winked at the Pokemon, who had a blank stare and a fake, frozen smile on her face. Nana leaned over and whispered, "What's he talking about?" Jigglypuff shook her head, her face stuck in the same expression. "I have no idea," she answered.   
  
Falco and Fox were counseling Pikachu as he lamented over his great loss. "..and they were Heinz tomato ketchup, too!" Pikachu wailed, "Why?! How could anyone do such a horrible thing?!" Fox sighed and patted Pikachu's head. "Yea, that sure beats me," he said and winked over to Falco. Pichu sat in a distant table alone, his face in a malicious expression of rage. Just then, the door sprang open and Donkey Kong and Yoshi appeared with frozen smiles and dressed in black and white tuxedos.   
  
"Hey," Sheik said benevolently as he stuck his head out from the side of Luigi's huge stack of pancakes, "welcome back." DK looked at him and said, "Harlo, g-oo-d morning." Yoshi grinned toothily as he stuck out a paw and rigidly waved. The two of them walked unblinkingly to Pichu's table and sat down. "So," Pichu said to them, "what happened to you guys?" DK's teeth showed as he put up a great effort to smile. "We're friends," he said, and the two of them mechanically shook hands.   
  
"Harlo, my name's D..K.." Yoshi responded with equally stiff chorus of unintelligible noises. Pichu stared at the two of them. "What did they do to you?" he cried and jumped on the table, "Don't you remember what happened last night? Yoshi, don't you remember your egg?" Yoshi's eye twitched, and Pichu grinned to himself. He picked up an orange and began playing with it. DK's nostrils flared as he sniffed. His pupils started growing small, and his muscles bulged and tore up his tux.   
  
With a mighty roar, he grabbed the orange and began smacking it to the wall. Then he picked up a cantaloupe and served it over the heads of Roy and Falco on their way to the buffet line. Yoshi let out a shrill shriek and patted himself down, searching in vain. He ran out the doors with a death-chilling cry while Pichu sat gleefully. 'Hmm..,' he thought, 'I think I'm going somewhere with this..' DK was shooting grapefruits everywhere when Pichu ran off back to the dorms.  
  
  
  
Marth turned red as Samus took off her helmet and leaned forward in her seat. "So.." she said while tracing figures on the tablecloth, "I guess you must work out quite occasionally." He gulped and glanced between her and the empty seat next to him. 'I'm in deeep shit,' he thought. Samus was hot, sure, but he didn't count on the girls seeing his – the thoughts were interrupted by Samus leaning even closer to him, her face inches from his nose. She smiled flirtatiously and tapped his nose with a finger. "You know," she whispered, "you'd make a lot of girls.. happy." Marth's eyes widened as she started to close hers and move closer.   
  
'OH MY FREAKIN' - '  
  
The doors swung open and both Master Hand and Crazy Hand appeared. Yoshi dashed in behind them, clutching his egg and ran off to a corner, where he started petting it and crooned over it. "Well it's nice to see," Master Hand started. "Everyone so full," Crazy Hand finished. "We have-" "-a new guest." "Please welcome-" "-the doctor."   
  
Mario in a white lab coat and a light bulb strapped around his head entered carrying a case with a medical sign over it. Luigi stopped eating and stared between Mario sitting next to him and the Mario at the door. "Mama mia!" he said, "Mario, you have-a twin brother!" "That's not my twin," Mario answered, "that's Dr. Mario, remember him? Came to star my part that time when I got sick."   
  
Dr. Mario nodded to various people as he passed by them. "Nice to meet you," Peach said courteously. He bowed politely and kissed her hand. "The pleasure's all mine," he replied. "Ooh," Peach said with a flush, "and you don't even have an accent, just how do you do it?" Roy shot him an envious glare as Dr. Mario approached Samus's and Marth's table and sat down in the empty seat. "Hey, I'm Marth," the swordsman said. "I'm Samus," Samus added with a smile, "what a gentleman."   
  
"Just wanted you to know," Crazy Hand said and Master Hand finished, "Meeting in five minutes"  
  
"..down at the auditorium."   
  
"Don't  
  
be  
  
late."   
  
"Well," Samus stated and carried her helmet, "you have your breakfast, doctor, Marth will just be taking me across the hall." "I..am?" Marth muttered and was bewildered as Samus slid her hand between his arm and was walking out with him. Dr. Mario waved good-bye to them and smiled at the people who started leaving and greeting him. Soon the room was nearly deserted, left Fox and Falco wrapping donuts in napkins and stuffed them in their pockets.   
  
"Good bye," Dr. Mario said to them as they left, "good bye, pleasure meeting you." When the door swung shut, he smiled toothily to himself and dropped his bag on top of the table. He opened the bags and inspected the contents. Boxes of pills and a tin container with a large "W" written across it lay inside, and he chuckled as he pulled out a small notebook. "Things to Do" was written on the top and he crossed off the first line that said: Dress as Dr. Mario, go to SSB assembly. "Yess.." he said in a deeply accented voice, "soon, veerry soon, I shall take ever-y-thing! Greed is good, yes, greed is veeerrry good."   
  
He let out a soft cackle and took a few slices of pancake before running out the door.  
  
~ yea, like I said, reaalllly weak. I'd be happy and open to suggestions! ^_^ hopefully the next chapter won't be as bad, I'll see what I can do! (readers: you'd better..) eh hehehehe.. (dashes out the door)  
  
REVIEWS!!! THANK YOU FOR THEM!!  
  
Eve Arraguchi – yea, I kno it's pretty messed up. That's the beauty of it, hehehe. Lol, captain falcon against goku and vageta, I'd like to see that  
  
Shadow master mewtwo – true, according to the actual game they're the same person. But I was playing ssbmelee and just thought, 'migod, sheik is FLAT.' So I thought the idea of them being separate people would be cool (plus I'm trying to see if I could do something with that.. hmm..)  
  
Chibilandra – oh I know, finals are hell. It's like teachers are a conspiracy to ruin your social life and oppress you for 12 years before you can get out and torment them with your kids and your grandkids and your.. lol, jk  
  
SkyBound Latias – aww, thanks! I'm glad the last chapter was appealing, but this one was..eh. sry about that, I'll try hard on the next one, promise!! ^_^  
  
Purplepenguins – hehe, we should start a cult for like-minded people  
  
Rai dorian – lol, thanks! The whole toilet thing was a venture in dangerous waters, but I'm glad it worked out, heheh  
  
Mags - ^.^ yep, driving people nuts (blows nails runs them across her shirt) all in a days work lol  
  
Celtic Goth – lol, you should join our cult for sick minded people (read few lines above)   
  
Kristi Carlson Fernandez – YES, I AGREE! People do need to review this more!!! (rubs hands and grins toothily) yess, greed is gooood ^.~  
  
Dudette_Candy – thaaaaank yoou! Glad you liked it!  
  
Torquisefox – yes, I believe that Ganon in real life is a real wuss. I mean, the guy's been raised completely by women, you'd think it'll stunt his male development!  
  
Shadey – hehe, poor Marth. Sorry I had to make him taken, I had to deal with the loss too (bawls herself to tears) 


End file.
